Funny Atheist Quotes

Knockout Quote No 434, Maguire, This ‘nice God’ hypothesis does run into some knotty problems
CCKQ No 676, Gerry, Fundamentalists deliberately strive to build themselves a wall of Bibles to keep it at bay
CCKQ No 676, Gerry, Fundamentalists deliberately strive to build themselves a wall of Bibles to keep it at bay
McKellar, If he ever did return, it would be as a fifty-pound lump of bone and frozen jerky
McKellar, If he ever did return, it would be as a fifty-pound lump of bone and frozen jerky
Madison, Why isn't membership in the Catholic Church down to ZERO by now?
Madison, Why isn’t membership in the Catholic Church down to ZERO by now?
So when my spirit starts to sag, I hustle out my highest drag
So when my spirit starts to sag, I hustle out my highest drag
There’s no business like show business, the costumes, the scenery, the makeup, the props
There’s no business like show business, the costumes, the scenery, the makeup, the props
I feel pretty, oh so pretty, and I pity any girl who isn't me tonight
I feel pretty, oh so pretty, and I pity any girl who isn’t me tonight
Knockout Quote No 493, Conner, Christians just live in a different time zone than the rest of us
CCKQ No 570, Conner, The Bible really needed an editor with a shredder
CCKQ No 570, Conner, The Bible really needed an editor with a shredder
CCKQ No 571, TBO 100, I read the Bible cover-to-cover as a young man, but I'd rather read Proust in Finnish than do that again
CCKQ No 571, TBO 100, I read the Bible cover-to-cover as a young man, but I’d rather read Proust in Finnish than do that again
CCKQ No 570, Conner, The Bible really needed an editor with a shredder
CCKQ No 570, Conner, The Bible really needed an editor with a shredder
Knockout Quote No 486, Hubbard, the answers are usually blah blah context blah blah mysterious ways blah blah metaphor blah blah
Knockout Quote No 468, Conner, It is the Holy Spirit that convinces someone of the truth
Knockout Quote No 465, Gericke, Yahweh is like Donald Duck
Knockout Quote No 463, Without Malice, The one thing you would never hear such a being say is, Oops, didn’t see that coming
Knockout Quote No 462, Without Malice,Thus 2,000 years of Christians going at each other’s throats over idiotic dogmas
Knockout Quote No 444, Conner, The Holy Spirit is flitting around the world whispering into the temporal lobes of billions of people
Knockout Quote No 170, Twain & Bunker, Faoth is…
Knockout Quote No 169, Carlin, This guy would have been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago
Knockout Quote No 260, Wilde:Bierce, A theologian is like man going into the depths of a cave at midnight
Knockout Quote No 265, RealHarryWiddifield, Your prayers are fart bubbles in the bathtub of the cosmos
Knockout Quote No 306, Sayers, “I don’t think you ought to read so much theology,” said Lord Peter
Knockout Quote No 308, Tarico, Athletes huddle in prayer before a game, just in case those random bounces aren’t random
Knockout Quote No 380, Zingrone,So, go bowling next Sunday instead of attending church and have a good time
Knockout Quote No 430, Bo Daniel, It’s all part of God’s plan is such a breathtakingly witless defense
Knockout Quote No 420, Congerton,The Holy Fact Checker seems to have been on sick leave
Knockout Quote No 422, Carter, So many theologians love to meet at pubs.
Knockout Quote No 424, Lindsay, Religion is believing there’s a diamond the size of a refrigerator buried in your yard
Knockout Quote No 428, Carlin,You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci

4 thoughts on “Funny Atheist Quotes

  1. Nothing. All that and you have nothing that denies CHRIST is real. Not a single that. Oh, of course, you offer some humor to undermine HIM, but that is evidence.
    You see, your problem is simple. You refuse to see HIM hanging there in the red mist of time. You choose to create and rejoice in all kinds of distractions in order not to look too closely at that guy dying a brutal death before a few lonely, grieving women and some dude.
    It happened. And you gamble and laugh. You shout, “Come down from there you lying phony. Prove you are GOD” and slap each other on the back, having a big old time. You are like most.
    Thinking folks realize that His disciples who were frightened, depressed, so sad and defeated, believed HE came back from the Cross, that He arose and made Himself known to them and shook up the entire world because they were convinced HE WAS ALIVE.

  2. It’s a weird reality, I went searching for funny quotes and humor. I just read several pages on Christian, mostly Catholic humor. Things said by Christians. Then I came to this page. BOTH were full of jokes about Christians and Christianity. Clearly, atheism is no joking matter.

  3. I can’t believe most of the population of our planet is wrapped up in believing all the rubbish in religious texts. You know, if every fantasy novel was marketed as religious texts, I think that we’d have a lot more religions to argue over.

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